Our Secret
by Suffering Angel
Summary: A b-day fic (') Kouichi stalks the person he loves, thinking about him, dreaming about him, admiting as to why it's wrong, and savoring the things which make it so right. some dirty talk, but dirty is good .


I don't own Digimon Frontier.

A/N: yep. A b-day fic. This one's dedicated to Mei, my beloved Oneechan ^____^ love ya, girl. Hope ya like this.

**_Our Secret_**

I watch him from afar again, seeing without being seen. It's not that weird or anything, really, at least not to me. It's not even as rare as I thought it'd be, now that he actually knows I exist. It's just that I love watching him. Love admiring him from afar. Love staring at him lovingly, like I only can when I'm like this; alone, hidden. Only then can I look at him without others asking questions, without anyone saying bad things about me.

About me thinking about him the way I do... about me waking up covered in sweat after I dreamt about him. About me wanting to spend my days and nights with him.

About me being madly in love with him. 

Who's he?

Minamoto Kouji. 

My angel sent from heaven to save my heart.

Who am I?

I'm his older brother.

-

I heard people talk about me, how I'm just a tad too friendly with him. How they say I'm a sinner and will be sent to hell. How it's sick to be in love with your brother.

What was that, judge not least ye be judged? Besides, I'm not some sicko who has a thing for my brother because he's my brother.

I don't love him because of it.

I'm in love with him despite that.

But can you really, seriously blame me? I mean, what's not to love? He's smart, funny, caring, sensitive (yes, he is), considerate, loyal (and those are getting harder and harder to find, ne?), has a need both to love and be loved... and other than that, he's down right gorgeous. I'm not saying it just because we look alike. 

Hell no. Me, I'm rather skinny, but you'd never tell. Him? He's the athletic kind, built to perfection. It's like when we were born it was decided that all the looks would go to him, and I'd be cute just because we had to look the same. But I'm not complaining, I'd much rather stare at him than at the mirror.

And he's giving me plenty to stare at. Right now he's playing soccer with Takuya, both long since shirtless under the afternoon sun. He's smiling and laughing and I can't help but sigh happily as I watch each and every one of his movements. 

-

There's one cloud in my sky, though. One raining cats and dogs down on my head. That cloud is smiling at him, probably telling one of his lame jokes again. 

I know he's Kouji's best friend and Kouji loves to hang out with him, but I wish he wouldn't.

Not because I'm jealous of anyone spending time with my little brother, but because in this case, I have a real cause.

Takuya isn't like, say, Junpei, who has no romantic interest in anyone other than Izumi. 

Or Izumi, who made it quite clear (for Junpei's sake) that Kouji just wasn't her type and she only sees him as a friend.

There isn't really a need to even mention Tomoki. Even if he wasn't so hung up on Takuya, Kouji couldn't see him as anything other than a little buddy.

You'll understand why me saying 'little brother' there would've been inappropriate, ne?

-

But Takuya's different. He's not only a possible risk, he's a definite one. How long ago was it that he came to me, letting me know he _liked_ Kouji in _that way_?

I was this close to wringing his neck.

-

So that's why I'm worried, and why I came here. And why I'm hiding here.

I know that it would look bad if I were to show up whenever those two were alone. Takuya may be a bit slow at times, but he's not stupid. 

So all I can do is watch from afar, and pray. 

I have faith in Kouji. I did say he's loyal, didn't I? So far, he hasn't disappointed me.

I hope today won't make it a first.

-

Takuya's smile suddenly falters, and Kouji, worried somewhat, follows his gaze to see what's wrong. I realize with a blink it's me they're looking at and, clearing my throat, I have no choice but to approach them. So, hands down my pockets, I try to smile as naturally as I can. It's not as hard as you'd think. Unlike Takuya, Kouji's happy to see me. He always is. 

Just as I am to see him.

"Hey, Kouichi, what were you doing over there behind that tree?"

Takuya asks with narrowed eyes. Kouji comes to my rescue and laughs it off.

"Come on, Takuya, he probably just came by from that direction. I mean, come on, what do you think he was doing, stalking us?"

"Maybe just you."

The goggle boy looks at him seriously, making my brother stare for a minute. But before I can get really worried, Takuya snorts.

"Yeah, right, stupid me, huh? I mean, you're brothers!"

We both laugh just enough to make him feel satisfied, glancing at each other. Remember I said he wasn't stupid? Forget it.

"Man, it's gotten that late already?"

He asks with slight disappointment as he puts his shirt back on and gets his things.

"I had a great time, Kouji."

Takuya says with a huge grin and I look away as to not see Kouji smile back at him.

"Me too. Let's do this again soon."

"You bet! Later!"

He runs off, leaving the two of us behind. At long last, almost alone. I consider what to say, but Kouji beats me to it, and with a smug smirk he saves for rare occasions. God dammit he's sexy.

"Jealous?"

I turn away and cross my arms, sticking my nose high with a superior "humph". In short, letting him know he's painfully right.

I get a chuckle in return before finding myself admiring just how cute he can get at times. But the adorable expression is due to him following Takuya with his gaze, and I get jealous again.

"You had a good time?"

"Yeah..."

That's the only reason why I even let Takuya near him. Because he makes him smile. Otherwise, the only way that guy was to see my brother was in his dreams.

I smile as he disappears from sight, then suddenly, I feel the blood rush to my face... and downwards.

Kouji wraps his arms around me and purrs in my ear my exact thought... but then again, I can't think straight at the moment.

"Finally alone."

"In the middle of a public park."

"No one in sight."

"You're all sweaty and sticky."

"Like that ever stopped you before."

I hate it when he's right.

"I missed you."

I love it when he whispers sweet words in my ear, letting me know just how he feels, and only I know, no one but me.

"I missed you too."

"You shouldn't worry too much about Takuya... he's flirtatious, but otherwise harmless."

"He _likes_ you..."

"And I love you."

And the rest of my year has just been made perfect.

You see, this isn't one sided. I'm very much in love with him, and god has smiled upon me, because he loves me back.

All those weird looks, all the talks behind our backs, all the heavenly wraths promised to us? He doesn't care. Not one bit.

Not because he's a rebellious punk.

Most of the time, he isn't.

But he acts like that because of the reason he keeps giving me, and I'd be darned not to believe him. Makes me blush every time, like a charm.

Why, you ask?

Because to him, I'm more than worth it.

I'm pulled down as he leans against the tree, still hugging me.

"What if someone saw..."

"Let them."

He kisses my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I love his touch, so gentle, so warm, carefully running across my skin, bringing life to every part of my body.

"Why... why am I so lucky?"

He smiles before planting a kiss on my lips. I don't care if other people watch now.

He's right. Let them watch.

Let them watch him hold me tight.

Let them hear the words he tells me, and only me.

The look in his eyes, those eyes I love to drown in.

Let them watch as we kiss, tasting each other's very soul.

And then let them watch me do the same to him.

 See me caress his soft skin, savoring every second of the touch.

Let them watch me run my fingers through those soft strands of his that blow beautifully in the wind, giving him the aura of a beautiful wild fallen angel, hell bent on making my life paradise.

Let them hear him scream my name, letting me and only me defile him.

Only letting me love him, letting me have him, both body and soul.

-

I know it's a sin, we both do. But we don't care. We can live like this now. God can judge us later.

As long as we keep it like this, we can go on forever. It's our lives, our love, our secret. No one can take it away from us.

"Ne, Kouichi?"

"Hm?"

"Let me love you tonight."

No one.

"Be gentle."

"I'll try."

And we kiss.

-

~owari~


End file.
